And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything feels like the movies Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
Sometimes what I need is way more than words. Not all the words in the world could mean as much as laying on your arms, some days. 'Cause I don't have anything to say. I can't excuse myself for what I do. I don't know why I do it, and you being here would probably don't change a thing. I binge 'cause I feel empty, I restrict later because I feel too full, I cut because I'm a failure and I need some kind of punishment. I don't want anybody's pity, I just want someone to yell at me and beg me to stop. I want someone to force me to stop. To literally yell at me telling me I AM worth it, that I am NOT a failure. I just need something. I need security. I need to know you're mine and I need to know you're keeping me despite how messed up I already am and how messed up I will become. I need to be sure that your eyes shine when you say my name. I could find a milion reasons to love you, but none would be more important than having someone that loves me.
{found on my Math's notebook, it is old, from a few weeks ago. but... still makes sense.}
"I can't imagine what you're going through. But I do know from experience that backing down can become a way of life. Don't leave. Screw the pressure. Screw the scholarship. Do your own thing, in your own times and get what your aim is. That's what matters." - Simon Fletcher on Raise Your Voice
Yes, I'm getting quotes from Disney's Sunday afternoon movies, starred by Hillary Duff. Simply because it got to me more than it should have. It made me rethink what I had decided, again. I've decided to stay, so far. And I should be even more certain of that each day. But damn, I'm not.
